I consider myself pretty self-aware; given how much introspection it takes to keep myself on the rails, I better be. Every once in a while, I allow myself to take some credit for my father’s improved situation and my kids turning into warm, emphathic, smart and kind people (credit shared with my brother and wife respectively, of course). So many things are out of our control in both situations that when a chapter ends well, you take a small victory lap even if you know already that the book itself is going to be a tragedy.
Brief side note: I have a good friend down the street who convinced me to buy an outdoor gas grill that I could connect directly to the line in my house. Best thing I’ve bought in ages. His logic was simple: as a father of daughters, you control so little in life that you need something that you actually do control.
Anyway, I am also keenly aware that much success in life and caregiving stems from luck.