I wanted to post something that my daughter Sophie wrote for my dad. Being a Sandwich Generation father and son has meant that my kids got to know my father, and he got to know them. That was a gift, especially on days when I couldn’t take it anymore and they could step in and take over. See below for an example of a situation I am talking about.
Editor’s Note: Sophie is 14, and full of life, wry offbeat humor and positive energy. She built a pretty special bond with him and visited him with me often.
I was extremely fortunate to spend 14 years with my grandfather (or “Apu”, as I called him), and there were two moments in my time with him that I will cherish forever.
This past November, I visited him in rehab. He had broken his hip (I would say more, but I’m sure you all already know the story). I remembered my dad talk about the constant arguments that Apu had with the nurses. He was refusing to start physical therapy, and only wanted to stay in bed and watch T.V. while nurses came and gave him his meals (which, without the broken hip, sounded like a pretty good life to me!!!). I told him that I wanted to see him get in his wheelchair and eat in the dining room. As soon as I said this, without any hesitation, he called the nurses in, was lifted into his wheelchair with a cool electric powered thing, and sat down with me at a table as he ate his dinner.
The second story takes place a few months ago. He asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I told him that I was going to get a new saxophone (I know, what a “band nerd”). He always loved music. He, without a thought, offered to pay for every penny. I could see how excited he was about this – which is saying a lot, because it was always hard to figure out what he was feeling. I still remember playing for him, a few weeks before he passed, watching as he smiled at me. Two weeks ago, I got my new saxophone, and I sent him a picture through email (of course) and he told me that he was very proud of everything I was doing with music. I’ve starred that email forever.
What really stands out to me, in both of these stories, is that you can see that he really cared, that he really loved his family and would do anything for them. I saw this in every chocolate box he gave me, every time he said “Sophie” and raised his arms for a hug as he saw me, in every photo he showed me, in every gift he gave, etc. I could go on and on. I wish I could of had more time to make more memories with Apu, but I know that I will never forget the ones I do have.